I Love you

I've drowned myself in you for a moment, but then I woke up. I got up, dusted you off and started walking away, not looking back. I walked through a desert of hangovers and addictions, parched. I remember my sole-less feet stepping on the dry land, my gaze searching for a shade. Looking to the horizon, I loved you.

I kept walking day and night, my feet bleeding, my soul weeping. Climbing the rocks on the hills on a land so vast. I stopped when all went grey and rain started falling on my face. Looking up to these skies, stretching my arms out wide, I loved you.

I kept walking till the sun came up, my soaking wet body, I decided to get rid of my clothes. They felt heavy and wrong. I shed them off as the sun came up and pealed them away from my skin. The cold wind brushing through my hair, my eyes closed, I loved you.

I climbed mountains and the higher I went, the colder it got. I cut my hands on the rocks, the dirty roads and my shameful regrets. I came to the pick and stood there, the snow falling on my dark hair, missing my warm clothes, taking one last breath before the jump, I loved you.

Falling seemed like forever. Painful, frightening, yet liberating. Infinite. I felt infinite. I started forgetting. My mind went blank. I knew nothing more of the past. I landed in a field and made my way into the woods. Cuts and scratches from all the branches. My feet ached no more, with a purpose in my heart, some peace in my mind, I loved you.

I came to a pond. I kneeled down to drink and saw a face in the reflection in the water. I did not know who it was. It was mine but I did not recognize it. It was me of my past. I tried to reach, I tried to touch it, but the moment I did, it disappeared and your face came up in this reflection. I lied and wept on your lap. I cried away the pain while you were passing you fingers through my hair, telling me it will be OK. Telling me it will pass. I looked at you. I knew. Right there I knew. For the first moment in my life I knew who you are. Who you are, and that I love you.