Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Oh, Isaacs...

I truly believe that you are. Barking up the wrong tree, that is. I have long forgotten about my heart. Having something so far away from you makes the recollection blurry. I've spent months and months of using my anger to ameliorate my soul to compensate the lack of my heart. Yes, I am heartless. But not in the way Brothers Grimm stories would describe it. I am not mean or evil. I do good deeds. But not out of the kindness of my heart. But from my soul that honours the knowing of that gentle thing that once inhabited my chest.

For weeks now I have worked my flesh to the bone. Pushing and pulling. Lifting and dropping. Just to avoid feeling anything but the ripping of my flesh. And the healing of it. Millions and millions of cells regrouping, regenerating. Emerging bigger and stronger. Becoming an epitome of what a human should be.

I used to believe, maybe I still do, that one day there would come a person who would amend that. Who had travelled barefoot through the deserts of the scolding sun and would stumble across my long lost heart just to wonder who it belongs to, and would bring it back to its rightful resting place. I might have met this person. They might have tried to put it back and I wouldn't let them. Or they might have never existed to begin with. I cannot truly believe someone would dare to make this kind of journey.

But if you wish for my counsel, I shall tell you this:
The way to let someone in, to find a place for them in your heart, is to just do it.
We all live in this cage of bones surrounded by flesh and skin. An unpleasant sight to behold. We are pretty disturbing creatures, we are. But know that no one holds a key to your heart. It is a lockless cage. Opening it is quite a task. You need to remove you sternum first, that is the beginning. Then you need to break the costal cartilages. Let them crumble. Your ribs will follow suite. They will fall like figs to your feet. Then, when the deed is done, she will find it. You wont need to point it out for her. She will find a place in your heart herself. She will build a bonfire in your chest and let you feel that the sun is warm and gives life, not just burning.

So just do it, Isaacs. She will find a way in herself. All you need to do is believe her when she says she will.